“What doesn’t kill you gives you weird coping mechanisms and a twisted sense of humor”
I found this funny, funny and true. I have developed some weird coping mechanisms over the years. All silly and ineffective in my opinion, but skills, nonetheless.
I drive, anywhere, nowhere, just drive. Focused on the road rather than the issue haunting me. No music, that disturbed my focus. I loved playing what I call my alphabet game. I would sit quietly and write, in alphabetical order, the names of cereal at the grocery store. One brand for each letter, tedious but it worked helping to shut off the part of my brain that was short circuiting. I still do that now; I choose a feeling or issue and come up with twenty-six other words to describe it.
Now I write, memories, feelings, situations, all the things that are crowding my mind and taking up space that I want to fill with other things, better things, maybe even happy things.
I laugh at situations that aren’t funny. Car crashes, broken or ruined belongings. Endless online window shopping. Imaginary conversations with people and winning the fight instead of falling apart like I normally do. Falling and getting hurt, even laughing at my then homeless situation. Making jokes about 1,101 ways to die. Ya, that’s NOT funny, but at the time I thought I was. I named my cats Karma and Jinx, my daily reminders about the overflow of fate in my life.
Laughing is better than crying, right?
The jury is still out on my ways to cope. I don’t know if they work, but they help. Even if only for a little while.
K.
Read more about the mess I’ve been trying to survive, →